The distance

Slept late.. around 5.30am in the morning and woke up at 8.30am and headed to church at 9.15am. Today is Mother's day! I would like to take this opportunity to wish all Mothers here

Happy Mother's Day

and
may God Bless you all..

I love YOU Mummy!
Love you forever! =) You're the best mom in my life.

Wake up in the morning and headed to church to see the girls sell flowers. I just stand there and stone and listen to mua Ipod. Wedding dress. hahaha! I think I'm addicted to the song. =P
This year my church did something special. For the pass few years, my church has been selling Roses.. This year it changed. They are selling corsage flowers.. So the girls helped out and the sales was doing good. =D
Felicia Choong did pay Full attention to the sermon despite I was super tired. Usually wen I'm tired I will lose concentration! yay!

Right after service, I was hungry! so after a LONG big discussion, we decided to go for lunch @ McD! Ahhhh.. is not my will to go there for lunch. The girls wanna eat there. What can I do? T_T.. hehe On the way to McD, saw Starbucks.. and TA DA! i got myself a cup of starbuck! T_T Poor. $$

FILLET O FISH! All a sudden I feel like eating! =D

Wen for drill practice and I saw MONKEY in MBS school! Monkey Boys School! hahahaha!

I did not want all this to happened.
I felt a lot better after praying and pouring it out.
I cried right after drill session. I was down. I did not know what to do after the sharing done by one of my ex-officer shared with to the girls. It hit me badly. I reflected myself as a worshiper to God, a leader in GB, and also as a friend towards the rest. I did not do my part well and I did not seek God enough. I'm not strong enough. The bible versus and the song she shared with the us today really touches me.

There were 2 things going through my mind at that moment.

First thing was the leadership I have towards the girls to bring them toward Christ and also to shape them up to be a better person in future. I doubt myself at the moment. Because I know I'm not a good leader/officer.. I did not pray enough for the strength and faith.

Second thing was the friendship I had. It was not worth at all. But what else can I do? The moment I think of this, tears flow out even faster. I knew I was not strong enough. All I can do now is to seek God's help. I felt so helpless that moment. All I can do is to cry out to God. I do not know what else I can do. Why must things turn out to be this way? When will this end with the best and proper solution? How long more can I take?

I was being told long ago that a Christian's most powerful weapon is our knee.
And I believe that. Because I love Jesus.

The shortest distance between a problem and it's solution
is the distance between your knees and the floor

till then...

I did NOT!

I did not ask for all this....
I did not said you did not understand me..
I did not said that you are wrong
I did not said that is your fault
I did not blame anything on you.
Remember I said I blame on US not just You or me.
I did not mean to make you feel bad..
I was just trying to express myself But I guess I get everything into a mess. A big mess!
I trust You.. but why did you doubt me? I know I am not understanding enough.
I tried my very best to share my problems with you, however indeed there are certain feelings that cannot be express through words. I guess you get wat I mean because I believe you were in that situation before. sigh..People always say that a picture paints a thousand words.. Now I wanna say that tears are always the words that the heart can't express..

I did asked u once whether will you support me in any decision I make. You said yes!
I'm happy enough that you are always here for me.
I'm happy enough for everything you have done for me.
I did not dare to ask for more because I know I am no one to ask for anything from you.
I am just a normal girl.
I know that not all scars show, not all wounds heal, sometimes I can't always see the pain you feels therefore I am no one to judge or to say anything.
I realize how things have been changing between us. From the very first day we met till now. As time passes, I do not know whether is it you or me that have changed, but I believe that there are things that will remain the same and never change. You and I know it the best. If we were to let this Scar to continue to block and disturb us, we will have no future.
I always say...

Communication is the key..

I really hope it helps us.
I trust HIM and also us that we are able to go through this.
I'm sorry for everything..
I hope you will go through wit me??
I do not want you to swallow and suffer alone. You know what I mean..
I may not understand you but I can always listen and pray for you.
Let me know. I'll be waiting...

Do you remember the things u said to me? I hope u do.. because I'll remember it till the day comes...



till then..

Sat sat sat sat SATURDAY! =D

Today is already the 6th day..
I wonder how long will I still need to count this days.
Is just so not worth it. But then I gotta go on too. sigh~ I am lost I do not know what else I can do beside to stone and wonder. =(

Anyway, Is SATURDAY! wat else can I do besides going to church and going dinner with family?
Early in the morning, woke up super early and rot. I cant sleep well this few days so as usual sleep few hours only. Woke up rot till 10 something headed to imbi for breakfast!
I was not really in the mood to eat as I was missing something. I miss the time wen..........
bla bla bla.. BLA BLA BLACK SHEEP! =D

Anyway, I forced myself to ordered a bowl of noodle. This is my Breakfast + Lunch = Brunch
It last me till 7pm in the night. Wohoo~ However, I did not finish the whole bowl. I ate less than half. hahaha! =(

The coffee there was superb. I need this to keep me alive. hahah!

Popiah!! Yummilious! is expensive! =X

After breakfast, headed to Tesco @ Cheras to get something and also to buy stuff! =D
I was just wondering and walking like as though I am lost. Well, I'm actually lost! Lost with my life. sigh~
Headed to church around 2pm and go for normal GB meeting as usual..

Before I head to church, my mom forced me to drink this black thingy. =(
Is good for my health! Yuck! Bitter. =(

Around 7.30pm I was stoning at Rock Garden while waiting for some girls and Pei Jinn to go off, I wonder at certain things. O well..

I was super hungry and tired, but I couldn't sleep! So I decided to follow my family out for Family dinner as tmr is Mother's Day and is also my brother's Birthday coming soon!
We headed to Rendezvous for steak dinner! Is cheap and the food is OK only lar..

Me ordered lots of things But wasn't in the mood to eat.. Ended up I asked my parents and brother to finish off. I love seeing ppl eating. =D Because I myself kenot eat so much. sob

Kiwi Juice (dislike) and Ice Lemon Tea! (Mua fav! hehehe..)

After dinner was around 10pm headed to Pasar Malam at Pandan Jaya there.. It was a small Pasar Malam.. My mouth was itchy, so coincident my bro brought erm.. i dunno wat u call that.. hahaha

THIS! wat is this call? lol >.<

Yum Yum~ I had mine! hehehe

My brother's Lame Crocs. It looks lame on him but I love the colour though.. Suits him. XD

After all tat, Here I am blogging. I just finished doing up all the awards. Phew was a long day for me. My leg was SUPER pain! Thanks to the stupid heels =( I wonder went can I get rich so that I can get better shoes for my poor feet. hehehe..

Never regret something that once made you smile....


Till then...

Korean? Since wen? haha

Since went I starts listening to Korean songs? I guess I dunno. hahaha! Anyway,
Felicia Choong Loves the song.
Even though I am not a Korean singer's fan but somehow I think this song is nice..
There is only a few Korean songs that I personally like it.
Few of it are Nobody by Wonder Girls, Because I'm stupid by ss501 and few others and also this.. Wedding Dress by TAEYANG..
I somehow like the meaning after I find the translation..

Some say it’s not over ‘till it’s over
Guess this is really over now
There’s something I gotta say before I let you go
Listen

When you have a fight with him
Sometimes you cry
And feel sad and blue
I become hopeful
My heart aches secretly
Then just a hint of your smile
Can make feel fine again
To keep you from figuring out how I feel about you
Coz then we would drift apart
I hold my breath, bite my lips
Oh, please leave him and come to me

Baby, please don’t take his hand
Coz you should be my lady
I’ve been waiting for you for so long
Please look at me now

When the music starts
You will vow to spend
The rest of your life with him
How I prayed every night
This day would never come

The wedding dress you’re wearing
It’s not me (next to you)
Oh, the wedding dress you’re wearing, oh, no

You never knew how I felt about you
And I hated you so
Sometimes I wished you would be unhappy

Now I have no more tears left to cry
When I’m by myself I talk to you like you’re here
I’ve felt so restless every night
Maybe I’ve known all along this would happen
I close my eyes and dream an endless dream
Please leave him and come to me

Baby, don’t take his hand when he comes to you
Coz you should be my lady
I’ve been waiting for you for so long
Look at me now

When the music starts
You will vow to spend
The rest of your life with him
How I prayed every night
This day would never come

The wedding dress you’re wearing
It’s not me (next to you)
Oh, the wedding dress you’re wearing, oh, no

Please be happy with him
So that I can forget you
Please forget how miserable I looked
It’s going to be unbearably hard for me
For a long while to come

It has been...

This is the 5th day.. I hope I can continue counting the days. However, I cant help it. I can't stop thinking. I guess I will have regrets in life. and I gotta live with it.

Today is friday!
I'm suppose to be in Taman Seputeh now for small group, however I decided not to go. I do not have mood for anything. I wish to stay at home. Besides that, I got some stuff to finish of before sat. So i decided to just rot at home with dramas and also my work.
Early in the morning I woke up, I dun feel is me I dun feel motivated. I was freaking lazy to get up from the bed to get my butt to work. I'm half day today. So headed to pudu and home after that till now. Rot, stone and drama is now my daily routine. What else can I do?
My life is DULL. I got no one to talk to and no one to look for because I am lazy. sigh~
Lazy can kill me. amen

CINCAU! =D
can quench mua thirst away.. =P Ordered during lunch wit my mom.

Me have been busy printing pics! weeee~

Life has no ANSWERS..... but have many QUESTIONS

till then...

Spritzer....Meaning?

Work Work Work Work Work.. =D
I am making full use of my time. hehe..
I felt superb sleepy.. My panda eyes getting worst. T_T Pimples GETTING MORE!! how come!!! Exams over already yet pimples haven go away. =( sigh~ Maybe I had sleepless night this few days. sigh~ why lar... hmmm
sob..

EGG! =D I was bored. =(
Hope it made ur day. =)

What does the word FAMILY means?
It meant a lot to me.. Words wont be able to describe..
Who am I to judge. I fail I guess..
I tried very hard to lie to myself. Ended up I hurt myself and others the most. I wonder in future if I ever get to be a successful career woman, can I ever see true happiness. Smiles that come straight from heart. Laughter that are sincere...
I wonder...

I'm such a failure. I fail in friendship.. I hurt people that I am not suppose to hurt, the person whom i care for yet things ended this way.. I fail in family being a not good enough daughter and in relationship? I dunno who am I to say a thingy? sigh~ sigh..

All I can do now is to seek for God's guidance and wisdom. I trust him for he will lead me through my life..

I wonder whats the future for me...

Till then..

The Losers

Another BORING DAY!

Wake up in the morning had nth better to do.
I wanna stop thinking lame stuff therefore I continue watching my drama. I have whole tons of drama waiting for me to watch. =) I wanna stop thinking. Yesterday, like I said, I drank. I felt alot better after drinking and I can sleep better. peacefully. However, I woke up quite early for dunno wat reason. Headache! =( I stone till 12 and head over to MGS school for GB session..
Going to school compound makes me feel like I'm in school life again! I miss my school life weh. Where I got no worries about anything besides exams. =( I realize as our age is catching up. As we grow older we learn more things and experience things that we never thought we will experience. Life o life~....

One of the reason why last time we are so active in uniform body. hahaha!

Saw this in MGS school, I took it down as I saw one of my friend there.
She change alot though.. Miss the old us! =( I guess she made a change in my life now. hmm~

After MGS I went for a movie! The Losers. It was pretty interesting show. Normal for me nth exciting compare to the other action movies.

Bought a cup of Ice Lemon tea! I am coughing badly yet i drink this. hahaha! good luck! who cares anyway... hmm~

Look at the sun.. is so RED! me love the sun. so round...

Today is WEDNESDAY! I wasnt really craving for anything ever since Sunday. I haven been eating much as well until today.. I crave for tau fu! =D.. here's my fav! yum yum. I know some ppl couldn't take the smell.. But HEY! is nice alright. At first I couldn't take the smell too. But once u try it.. U'll love it, and u will eventually crave for it off and on just like me. =P







I hope I can sleep well tonite? If not I am so gonna get myself drunk! hahahaha~
Kidding. Bad for liver. =( anyway, Who cares. I am gonna stone and drama this is all I can do now. Holiday SUX!

I am working tmr! hope tmr I can pass my time easily. sigh~

Currently Watching a fistful of stances.. TVB Drama! This is all I can do to keep myself from not thinking. and my cough and slight flu sux.. sigh..


Till then....

IP Man2

Was rotting at home hence I went over to time square to watch movie.
IP Man. The show was okay. Not as nice as Ironman 2! =D
Anyway, Bored at home nth to do.. sigh~

Each step in life counts...

Ticket for IP Man2 movie!

Random shot of time square.. I am still deciding whether I should carry my lousy camera around went I'm out of the house. haha..

In the night, I'm bored.. I'm pretty down. I'm moodless. I dont have the mood to eat, to sleep to do anything. sigh~ All I wanna do is to watch movies or dramas to keep myself occupied. I guess this is all I can do..
Besides that, I felt like getting drunk but I know I could not do it outside.... so, i decided to drink at home since I got nth better to do at home.. I'm BORED! MOODLESS! help. sigh~ Hope to have a good nite sleep. hehehe.. muaxxx~


Expect people to be better than they are; it helps them to become better. But dont be disappointed when they are not; it helps them to keep trying.. sigh~

Till then..

Blue monday

It was a normal Monday, as usual I got nth better to do until my fren called me out for a yum cha session near by. We chose Old town! is a pretty boring place but with the people there I will never get bored. How often I go out yum cha ever since I always emo at home. sigh. Moodless..
Anyway, is nice to catch up with each other. Hoping to see all of you soon again! =)

Jobless people! =X
I ordered the bread toast and I always take out the butter because is fattening! I started off with mixing up the butter on the place only then my fren join in and created a mess in the bowl! hahaha

In the night, as usual wen for handbells, It was Kristen birthday! Our music instructor's daughter
All of us bring something there for a small party for her. She grew together with the handbell choir members. So we treat her like our... sister? child? hahaha! I got no idea. =X

She is so shy until she needs to hide behind her mom. =D

Happy 8th Birthday Kristen! =D

Till then.....

Games Workshop @ Outbac camp site

The day before saturday, I was sick. =( I dont feel like going anywhere but to stay at home. However, I told myself no matter wat I gotta get myself to small group simply because it has been a long time since I last appeared there. =X and I also told myself not to FFK my friends for movie. =X
After small group, I rushed myself back home to join the my friends for movie. It was totally a bad day for me. On the way home from small group, my car got banged by a stupid motorist. ish! The bumper at the back cracked and it looks like it gonna drop. T_T there goes my allowance for the month. sigh~ I was freaking sked so i just drove of instead of getting down and look at my car condition. amen. Anyway, I headed to Tropicana city for IRON MAN 2! the movie was awesome. The conversation between them was lame.. I enjoyed myself even though I was feeling sick. My head was spinning in the cinema. =(

The next day which is Saturday! Usually it was supposed to be GB day however, because most of the officer from 1stKL gotta go for a games workshop, hence wen self declare no GB. =P
Early morning we met up at 6.45am for Dim Sum together at Taman cougnaught! Yum yum..
After that we headed to broga hills. The workshop starts at 9am, we reached at 8.15am. Hence, we decided to have a short walk up the hill... There are 2 hills that we can climb actually. 1 is the jungle tracking type and another is this.. the road type. haha!

Pretty awesome view..

is camwhore time!=D

Around 8.45 we u-turn back and head down hill because is almost time! We gotta drive back to the camp site for our workshop.
This 2 fellas in the pic was freaking tired.. They bought themselves a cup of Soya Bean! It was pretty funny, the stall there wrote "very nice" Soya bean for sale, when i drink it, it was only a normal soya bean. haha! Marketing skill. =P


The workshop began sharp at 9.00am.. The campsite was pretty awesome. Full with loads of activities. Is a good place to bring the girls/friends here for activities like flying fox, obstacle course and also kayaking! weee~






The both PIGs! Right after lunch they slept on the table.. one on my right and another on my left. They made me sleepy and I join them right after I took this pic. =D

The yummy butter chicken rice! =D

Till then

No matter

I just realized that no matter how hard I am trying to help and make things better it will end up be in a dead end.

I like how we used to be yet things are changing.
I like how we used to........................
I like how we used to.................
I like how we used to ........................
There is no point continue saying
I know I am hypocrite. I am selfish. I am no one to understand the pain you are going through.. Every single words you said just sliced through my heart. But I never blame you because I deserve that. I deserve something worst than this. I gotta be strong. But I can't.
All I can do now is to talk to the walls and hoping I will feel better and someday you will understand.
All I did now is to continue breaking your hearts and slicing your heart with my words. I am out of words and I no longer know how to express myself.
I've learned that no matter how good a friend someone is, they are going to hurt you every once in awhile and you must forgive them for that. I do not know how true is it. But yeah..
I know I can cry to feel better.. The tears may fall and they are so easy to be wipe off with anything, but how do I erase the scar/stain that I created in the heart? Tears are always the words that the heart could not express. What else can I do?
Sigh.. I know God did not promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, but he did promise to give us strength, and comfort for the tears and also light for the way! I trust him.
I am just hoping for a lasting friendship......
Can I not have things turn out to be like this? sigh~
If only I had never existed in your life..

Till then...