Tried

TRIED!

Tired of it!

SICK OF FEELING THIS WAY.

Get it right

Last Kiss

I still remember the look on your face
Been through the darkness at 1:58
The words that you whispered for just us to know
You told me you loved me so why did you go away, go away

I do recall now the smell of the rain
Fresh on the pavement, I ran off the plane
That April 6th the beat of your heart
It jumps through your shirt, I can still feel your arms

But now I’ll go sit on the floor wearing your clothes
All that I know is I don’t know
How to be something you miss
Never thought we’d have a last kiss
Never imagined we’d end like this
Your name, forever the name on my lips.

I do remember the swing of your step
The life of the party, you’re showing off again
And I roll my eyes and then you pulled me in
I’m not much for dancing but for you did.

Because I loved your handshake, meeting my father
I love how you walk with your hands in your pockets
How you’d kiss me when I was in the middle of saying something
There’s not a day I don’t miss those rude interruptions.

So I’ll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep
And I’ll feel you forget me like I use to feel you breathe
And I’ll keep up with our old friends just to ask them how you are
Hope it’s nice where you are.

And I hope the sun shines and it’s a beautiful day
And something reminds you, you wish you had stayed
We can plan for a change in weather and time
I never planned on you changing your mind.

ENJOY!

2 camps!

2 camps in a week was AWESOME! and of course is TIRING!!

I enjoyed myself.

1st Camp was National Drill Camp

2nd Camp was FUN camp!@ Outbac Broga!

Updates soon! =D

God has plans for us..

Another devotion that hits me hard.. @_@ ♥♥♥♥♥♥

Ask and it shall be given unto you.. Seek and ye shall find..

“If you want to know what God wants you to do, ask him, and he will gladly tell you … But when you ask him, be sure that you really expect him to tell you.” James 1:5-6

Since God thought up the whole idea of relationships between men and women, parents and children, and friends, doesn’t it make sense to go him for direction when you have a problem?

As today’s verse says, “If you want to know what God wants you to do, ask him, and he will gladly tell you …” (James 1:5 LB).

Why do we have to ask before he answers? Because our relationship with God begins with faith. He doesn’t force things on us. He invites us into a relationship with him. So we ask.

Now I have to say, too many times I forget to ask. If you’re like me you’re just rushing through your day doing this, doing that, assuming it’s going to be okay. But you need to just stop once in a while and say, “God, I ask you, what is your direction?” He will gladly tell you.

And how does he tell you? An answer will usually come through one of two main ways – through people that are following him and through his Word. Get together with a few people who you know seek after God and ask them for their opinion. Look in their eyes and get an honest answer. And turn to God’s Word. Ask him, “God, what do you have to say about this?”

Some people think God is not interested in our relationships. After all, he’s got a universe to keep going. But he is interested; he made you! First Corinthians says, “But be sure in deciding these matters that you are living as God intended, marrying or not marrying, in accordance with God’s direction and help, and accepting whatever situation God has put you into” (1 Corinthians 7:17 LB).

I understand the hurts that can exist in some relationships, but the incredible promise of God’s Word is that he can bring beauty into any relationship. Not perfection, but he can bring beauty. Both people in the relationship have to agree and it will take some struggle to get there. But to give up is nowhere in the plan or purpose of God. That’s why you have to go to him for direction and guidance

Till then...

Love is a feeling, but it is also an action...

Hello everyone,

I would love to share this devotion of mine here as I find it very meaningful and it hits me at some point...

“Trust God all the time. Tell him all your problems, because God is our protection.”Psalm 62:8 (NCV)

What do you do with the feelings that come from disappointment in a relationship? You can’t stuff them away; they are just going to pop out somewhere else. You need to trust God and tell him all your problems because he is your protection.

Tell him you are angry or disappointed, or that you feel nothing. In those times when you feel nothing, when you feel like you’ve lost the love, go to God and tell him that -- then trust him. Hebrews 10:23 teaches us, “We can trust God to do what he promised” (NCV). And he promises to pour his love into our hearts.

Love is a feeling, but it is also an action. And when you lose the feeling to love someone, move forward with the action of loving them and that will help you reclaim your feelings of love. Is this hypocritical? No, it’s being human. We all lose the feeling to love at sometime. It usually happens when we decide to live with a problem instead of talking it out or openly facing it.

Start by telling God your feelings about the problem. From there, he can begin to give you the strength to talk to your loved one about it. As you do this, God will begin to restore your feeling of love for that person. He does what Lamentations 5:21 says, “Turn us around and bring us back to you again! That is our only hope! Give us back the joys we used to have!” (LB).

That is my prayer for you. Whether you are a husband or a wife who needs to let go of a disappointment or misunderstanding -- or if you need to accept the differences you have with a close friend -- I pray that God will begin to bring back your joy. But it’s a process, and it begins when you decide to trust God and tell him your feelings.

let the word remain unsaid

Pride, the sense of one's own worth. Sometimes is the pride that is in us that bring us down. We thought we know everything. We thought we see everything clearly. Well, sometimes I gotta act like I don't care. There isn't a point explaining knowing that the outcome is the same. Stubborn!. So whats the point??. If I am the only one that think this way then the problem is in me. However is not. I never say anything, but it just came to my ears. Maybe is fated that I can only received this kind of feedback and advice so late. There isn't a point regretting. Knowing that it is too late already.. O well, at least I get to see the true colour. Never the less, I dropped my glasses. Giving a deeper thought. Things might be different if I actually drop this glasses of mine earlier..

Dear 2187.. I miss you? I wish this glasses of mine drop earlier.. but I guess is too late..
If and only if i am given the last chance..
Wall.. Still... Eye.. Knee..? =(

Where are you?????.....
I am here...

till then..

Shoppping spreeeeeeeeeeeee

Weeeee~
This year I spend quite alot during shopping! =D
My check list is almost DONE! =D haha..
Well, there are reasons why I am willing to spend this year. Let it remain unsaid. =X shhh..

AH.. Me wan this badly... =(
But it's too big for me.. last piece there.. =(
My mom asked me to buy it home and ask me to GROW FAT! =.= good motivation. SWT..
So in the end i didn't buy... I rather not grow fat..
Soooo.. my next mission is the find this jeans! =D
Hopefully can buy it by this month. =D Shop shop shop!! weee~


O wait!!!
Did I mention before that I changed my car player? =P
Yes ppl.. Speaker plus player.. Wohooo~ It might not be as good as others that have sub and bla bla.. But then.. it's perfect for me already. I seldom drive here and there.. so yea.. happy with wat I have. =D

Till then..

Sometimes...

Sometimes... is better not to know the truth.. but then again.. be realistic..

I gotta chill and relax..

Christ gives me the strength to face anything. Philippians 4:13 =)

Anyway, AHHHHHHHH
This year my calender is filled with CAMPS date! Camp camp camp.
Estimated camps I would need to go : 8 camps! >.<
Where am I going to find the marneeee.. die die die. hahaha!

Till then..

Its Over~

Year 2 sem 2 is over! Time really flies..

Did pretty bad in my both papers. I guess I better start saving to resit my paper. I was just staring blankly at the papers. I wonder why too. It was too stress for me. I just could not handle it. I gotta deal with my emotions and also what is going on around me. The day before exam I couldn't really study. All I have in mind was the msg send by someone. If that's how you think of me.. I'm sad and hurt.. So be it.. I cant do anything but to silently cry and tell God my problems. Because I know I've lost your trust. Exactly 4 months we have been struggling... yet nth keeps me from continue to pray to God. Anyway, as promised, I wont be emoing so much in this blog. I wont wanna affect everyone. hmm..

Anyway, gonna be on sem break for about one month! YAY! meanwhile I have lots to do. Attending meeting and preparing for events. =)

stay tune for more updates.. =)

Love,
Feli

Nth

NTH NTH NTH! nth more I will explain or say because it does not make a difference. All I can do is to pray and hope that one day things will be clearly understand.

Them whom I heart most!
This would be my long time and life time friendS. Met them wen I'm in primary girls school. I'm glad I'm in a girl school where I am able to find awesome girl friends and we'll remain friends forever. No matter how far apart we are now, we'll always remember each other. =)

Them whom I heart most!
I'm thankful that God allowed me to serve in GB and met this bunch of crazy girls. With their prayer and support I believe we all can serve faithfully together. Heart them alot!

Them whom I heart most!

My life in secondary school life where I finally get to have guys friends and meet new people.
However, still I found a bunch of crazy girls and I rather be close to them because wat matter most is the quality not quantity. =)

Then again I make a move into my College life again I met a bunch of crazy girls.

Because of them my life is coloured up. =)

I'm also thankful for this guy.
Because of him, I passed my account papers in my foundation and degree too! =)
Thank you so much bardeeee. =D

Apart from that,
I'm thankful for my current new babes in University.
I get to know them not very long but I felt bless knowing them because they are all awesome people. I thank God for making them into my life

*Pic Unavailable*
will be uploading soon =)

To my other babes and friends.. dont feel left out if your pics is not in there. I cant upload all the pics I have. dont have time. Sorry. =( No matter wat.. I still love and care for the rest of the people I know. Of course in life I meet more than the people I posted up there.
I thank God for all of you that existed in my life. I do appreciate and love you all be it guys or girls.
A hug is worth a thousand words. A friend is worth more

G.NA - I'll Back Off So You Can Live

TRANSLATION

I’ll back off so you can live
Say it directly, looking at me
Say it looking into my eyes
Did you just say you wanted to break up?
Did you want to end it with me?

(I Know) You probably got a lady
(I Know) You probably got sick of me
Even though the tears are rushing to me

I’ll back off so you can live
That is all I can say
I’ll forget you so you can live better
So that you’ll be happy without me
The love that you tossed away, you can take it
Don’t even leave a trace behind and take it all
Don’t even say you’re sorry
Don’t worry about me

Your lips that told me tha you were going to leave
Why does it give me a reason to be angry today?
I need to stop you, the words don’t go out
And you are already moving far apart

(I know) You will forget me
(I know) I will really hate you
Even though you know everything

You! The reason I lived
You! Were all I wanted
You! It was me who only looked at you

Why? Why are you leaving?
Why? Why are you tossing me away?
If you were going to be like this
Why did you love me in the first place?

Do you happen to remember that day?
That day when we first met
I still remember it
The promise you made to me
That you will only care for me
That you will only protect me
That you will only love me
I believed your lies, I believed it

Did you really love me?
I’ll forget you so you can live better
Goodbye

sTRess LeVEL

wOHOOO~ My current stress level is way above! I cant believe I've been studying finance for the past 3 days continuously! I think I'm soon to go mad because I still don't really have confident in whether or not I could pass this paper. I dont wish to fail as I know I'm not going to score so I just aim to pass is the best I can do. Simply because I did pretty badly for this whole sem! AIKS! how come? Well, I've been emoing and wondering wat can I do to make things better. I cant sleep my problems away right?



BUT WAIT!!



I believe you people must be wondering why am I complaining tat I'm stress here and I'm emoing here but then wen some of you.. well.. maybe most of you see me.. I'm smiling and happily talking with you. I wonder why am I like tat too. I just cant help it especially wen I'm with my friends. I just would not want to make everyone around me to get stressed up with the mood i'm having and wondering what to do with me and so on. What I want in life for now is simple. I want people around me to smile widely. I want to make people smile.. AND not to forget I know that MY FRIENDS ARE with me. They support me in their prayer and also be by my side wenever I need them especially my babes and darlings.



Yeap! Some of you might call me a hypocrite. Seeing the 2 faces me. Some people will just love to hide their emotions from others as they are more introvert. They tend to not share their problem and outsider like us will never know wen he/she is sad or feeling unhappy. All we see is them smiling wenever we meet them. I have lots of friends like tat. Why? because life goes on and no matter wat we have to face it.. So face it wit a smile and it might just help things up.

I used to be super extrovert last time. But I guess I'm changing a little.

I don't mind as long as I see people around me happy is alright. Because I believe that Happiness is a journey not a destination.

Where I fall down is where I should CLIMB UP and begin my life again. So yea I felt down and I should get back up with nothing and start all over again in order to love life.

Anyway, back to my problems..



I've been having tons of problems. I've been struggling in dealing with my own emotions. There's this one of my small group member told me that I should sing "With Christ in the vessel we can SMILE at the storm" wenever I'm going through hard times as we know Jesus is always with us. I thank God for that.



I gotta deal with people around me. Well, I do love the people I love. Be it Him or Her. Because I believe that we must treasure the friendship we have. Hence, I'm trying my best to be the best I can.



I've been pretty self centered for the past YEARS. Being naive being selfish I guess. Which is obviously not the right thing to do. I guess I gotta pray harder to change myself. Jealousy kills. Envy kills.. being selfish KILLS TOOO.. ahhh I better stop thinking about myself and stop hurting others.



Maybe if I had just looked away that first night you came towards me, everything would be different and my heart wouldn't be aching. Ain't nothing but.. sigh..

How can I love again when I can't stop loving the one that hurt me so much?

I wish I could let go..



Why am I still holding on something that might not bring happiness to me but only worries, anger and jealousy? And I am letting go something that there might be chances to bring happiness to me?

I do care but I did not show it. I might not be the right one but I might one of them. Yesterday during sharing, once again something strikes my mind and heart.



I am burying the problems/matters/feelings deep withing me. And is only me that know how I should feel. There is no point wondering and asking for more. Knowing that I couldn't change a person mind set and I MUST care for others as well. I love I care I concern.

Let the word remain unsaid.

I will just remember the promises I made and not just by saying but action as well. Even if I gotta go through it myself along with God, I will because I know you too are going through alone with God. I might not be strong but I will do my best.



Ahh.. I'm being crappy. I'm aint linking everything I talked or I should say I write here. I'm sorry guys and girls. You know I love you all. muahz.



Anyway, Loving someone is of coursing hoping that he or she is happy with the life and be by their side be it as a normal people or a someone special to them. As long as I can be therefore them whenever they need me. So yea LOVE YOU ALL GUYS AND GIRLS. *hugs*

LOOK AT MEEE.. Seteresssing >.< nerd look.. shhh.. haha

PS : I will no longer emo in this blog. Will be having a personal emo blog on my own. All this while I've been doing it. Just that.. you all dunno. =P so yea.. last post on EMONESSS.. will make myself to post it on other blog instead. sorry people.. <3

Sorry for dragging you all into a emo mood always. PEACE! LOVE YOU! =D

A song that could only once make me smile, can now only make me tear...

Nothing Gonna Change My Love For You

If I had to live my life without you near me

The days would all be empty
The nights would seem so long
With you I see forever oh so clearly
I might have been in love before
But it never felt this strong

Our dreams are young
And we both know they'll take us
Where we want to go

(Chorus 1)
Hold me now
Touch me now
I don't want to live without you

(Chorus 2)
Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You ought know by now how much I love you
One thing you can be sure of
I'll never ask for more than your love

(Chorus 3)
Nothing's gonna change my love for you
You ought know by now how much I love you
The world may change my whole life through
But nothing's gonna change my love for you

If the road ahead is not so easy,
Our love will lead the way for us
Like a guiding star
I'll be there for you if you should need me
You don't have to change a thing
I love you just the way you are
So come with me and share the view
I'll help you see forever too

Before 2010 ends..

Hello Blogger..

Its already 31st December 2010. Time really flies, 2010 is coming to an end. For the past whole year I've learn a lot. Towards the end of the year is the most difficult months to me, but I do gain a lot. I'm hoping that next year will be a better year for me.
I sat down and think of the things I did in 2010. What have I achieved? I'm blessed that I have been walking with God throughout the whole year. I want to walk closer to Him.

This year memories there are sweet, bitter, and sour.. I wish that my memory will only store up those that are sweet, however, I know that the bitter and sour will still remain there. Memories hold and remain forever. It takes time to let go and forget the past and move on. I wish that time could just stop there and allow me to look back at what I did to reflect on myself. I have been very naive in my life. Immature in the things I do. Therefore, to all my friends out there especially my sistas! (you know who you are).. I would like to apologies for the wrong things I did throughout the year. I do hope to have a better memories with all of you. Past friends, present friends, future friends and I do hope it will be my forever friends. All of you created footprint in my life.. Loving you guys and girls~ especially my sistas and bro! =)


----------------------------------------------

Letting go the person you love sincerely is never easy. However, I know I gotta move on and carry on with life. Time will not stop there for me to cry over it and time will not tick backwards just for me to undo my mistakes. I know I will have to move on my life with this regret in me. Going to bed every night thinking why did I do that in the very first place. If only things would be different. Will I be able to forget you? I do not know how long more can I take up this pain. The pain that have been hunting me ever since that day itself. I will never forget the days we had the laughter and joy we shared and most importantly I will never forget the love you gave me and the love I received. I will always remember the best new year present ever you gave me that signifies our love and to begin my 2010. Even though I would have to end 2010 with this regret, I will still treasure the moments we had in the beginning. I know it will no longer be the same anymore., All I can do now is to surrender my pain to God and pray to God to relieve me from the thoughts that lead to depression. His timing is always perfect. No matter what, I do hope that you will be happy with the life you chose. Keeping you in my prayer list is all I can do now. Thank you for leaving your footprint in my life and allowing me to share the love you had. Your heart my heart our love...Will never forget this.. I do miss the moment we had together... Thank you for coloring up my life.

"Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know" - Jeremiah 33 : 3



--------------------------------------------------------------------

"God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect" - Hebrews 11 : 40


-------------------------------------------------------------------

Before the year ends.. I would like to say..
I love you Mom and Dad..
I love you my friends!
I love you my brothers and sisters in Christ!
I love you all who have been here for me..
Thank you for everything..
God Is GOOD! =D

I LOVE YOU GOD. - Thank you for being with me and loving me unconditionally. Muaxx~

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

PS : SORRY FOR THE EMO POST. >.<

Christmas!

Hello EVERYONE..

I would like to wish you all

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
GOD LOVES YOU! =D

HMMMM~

Wall... Eye... Knee... =)

Till then..

IN MY HEAD!

JUST THE WAY YOU ARE

Oh her eyes, her eyes
Make the stars look like they're not shining
Her hair, her hair
Falls perfectly without her trying

She's so beautiful
And I tell her every day

Yeah I know, I know
When I compliment her
She wont believe me
And its so, its so
Sad to think she don't see what I see

But every time she asks me do I look okay
I say

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

Her nails, her nails
I could kiss them all day if she'd let me
Her laugh, her laugh
She hates but I think its so sexy

She's so beautiful
And I tell her every day

Oh you know, you know, you know
Id never ask you to change
If perfect is what you're searching for
Then just stay the same

So don't even bother asking
If you look okay
You know I say

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

The way you are
The way you are
Girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are


Love the song so much. <3

Bored!

Hello bloggers!

I'm pretty bored.
Having my sem break now. Have been rotting, working and watching dramas at home.
and last but not least.. CAMWHORE! too bored at home. >.<


No good internet connection at home! How sadz. Currently I'm using broadband simply because I've terminated my streamyx connection just to get the Cool Uni pack. Sadly, the promotion has over AFTER I TERMINATED MY LINE! arghh~ I was kinda pissed but wat can I do? I have no rights to sue TM nUT! =( Therefore, I'm changing plan to go for Unifi I guess. XD My area here will be launching end of the year. wao~ Hopefully my mom will approve me to get this package and she will pay for it! I'm freaking poor. Currently paying for the blardy Digi broadband thanks to my lame brother who always complain to my mom he cant live without internet! =( POOR. I wish I've money that drop from sky!

I've changed my fon! Iphone 3Gs! (white)
It was totally random. I didnt know that I will get one! XD
So now I have Nano, Itouch, Iphone and a nokia E72. =.= I think thats too much rite? Planning to get rid of my nano. As for my E72, my mom will be using it! WAO~
poooooring~ Have been spending alot recently. I will need to eat grass for the next few weeks! Or maybe months! GG.



My shopping mode is on! Anyone wanna shop wit me?
at the same time be my ATM machine! XD haha just kidding! =P

till then..

Connections! =(

Finally I found my way to connect back to the world! =D
Currently, I do not have internet connection at home.
I've terminated my internet connection simply because I'm gonna apply a new line which is the Unifi package. Is much more cheaper and I can high speed. =D Weee~ But I will need to suffer for one month plus without connection. TM NUT! =( sadz.

Anyway, Life is awesome. I've been enjoying every single day of my life with food.

Lately I've been buying lots of stuff. Maybe because of I'm too free and I always shop. Hand getting itchy. XD

I bought myself a purse. I've lost mine few months ago and finally, I've found one that I kinda like. Is expensive. RM200 plus though. Pooring. However, I like it. ;)



My shopping mode is ON!
But, I'm pooring. hmm.. sigh.. really poor.
I've got so many things in mind that I wanna buy. But I'm freaking poor. People always ask me where all my money wen to then? Well, sigh I've got lots of stuff to pay for and my allowance is not alot though. sadz.
I wish I've credit card and someone can pay the bill. aiks! >.<

Till then..

the song is in my head! hahaha

Oh her eyes, her eyes
Make the stars look like they're not shining
Her hair, her hair
Falls perfectly without her trying

She's so beautiful
And I tell her every day

Yeah I know, I know
When I compliment her
She wont believe me
And its so, its so
Sad to think she don't see what I see

But every time she asks me do I look okay
I say

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

Her nails, her nails
I could kiss them all day if she'd let me
Her laugh, her laugh
She hates but I think its so sexy

She's so beautiful
And I tell her every day

Oh you know, you know, you know
Id never ask you to change
If perfect is what you're searching for
Then just stay the same

So don't even bother asking
If you look okay
You know I say

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

The way you are
The way you are
Girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile,
The whole world stops and stares for awhile
Cause girl you're amazing
Just the way you are