I guess.. if I could have a time machine, I would want to go back time..
Back into the time where I wouldn't have start hurting u at all knowing is so painful till now.
I finally figure out that there are things that are meant to be unsolved and just leave it. Everyone disagree with me, however, I am the one going through it. I know it more than anyone of them. I'm feeling very tired, very sick of what is going on. Not because of the "fannes" that people gave me but the hurt and sadness that I've gave to people. I felt unsafe.. I feel that I'll soon get back the same treatment that I treated others. However,
I asked myself.. Am I a failure? What I did to deserve all this Cold respond?
I feel so hopeless.. I didn't want all this to happen, yet is really out of my control. What more can I ask for but to pray for your happiness?
I did change from someone worst to someone better and now to someone that is cruel? I guess I've not been myself lately.. I wanted things to be how it was last time, however, what ever shit I do it'll never be the same anymore. Thanks to myself. I guess is all my fault seriously.. For not handling things properly and keep it hanging which is not fair.
Is not A GAME i know.. and I am QUITTING this so call game right now. I'm out of here to stop all this pain.. I am not treating anyone as a chess. It hits be with that word because I start questioning myself and asking people around me.. And I tat selfish? am I using others to get what I wan? who am I to even judge myself. sigh...
I finally know what I want. I want peace, and joy. and most importantly, I want to see happiness . Smile and laughter. That's all I'm asking for.
I am never cruel in ignoring people. I will never do that. Yes indeed it hurts me deeply went I felt the change in us.. But I am now burying it deep within myself.. because all I care for is people around me. FULL STOP here alright? no longer want to talk about it and mention about it because all it brings is just SADNESS and painful scars.. say watever you people wanna say.. Yes I wanna run! I am running away.. because I can no longer take it with the words and the things that is happening.. is just so UNPREDICTABLE.. is so out of control.. I dont wish things to turn to worst. Even an outsider can see the difference. AND OUTSIDER!. How sad is that? sigh~
till then..
Back into the time where I wouldn't have start hurting u at all knowing is so painful till now.
I finally figure out that there are things that are meant to be unsolved and just leave it. Everyone disagree with me, however, I am the one going through it. I know it more than anyone of them. I'm feeling very tired, very sick of what is going on. Not because of the "fannes" that people gave me but the hurt and sadness that I've gave to people. I felt unsafe.. I feel that I'll soon get back the same treatment that I treated others. However,
I asked myself.. Am I a failure? What I did to deserve all this Cold respond?
I feel so hopeless.. I didn't want all this to happen, yet is really out of my control. What more can I ask for but to pray for your happiness?
I did change from someone worst to someone better and now to someone that is cruel? I guess I've not been myself lately.. I wanted things to be how it was last time, however, what ever shit I do it'll never be the same anymore. Thanks to myself. I guess is all my fault seriously.. For not handling things properly and keep it hanging which is not fair.
Is not A GAME i know.. and I am QUITTING this so call game right now. I'm out of here to stop all this pain.. I am not treating anyone as a chess. It hits be with that word because I start questioning myself and asking people around me.. And I tat selfish? am I using others to get what I wan? who am I to even judge myself. sigh...
I finally know what I want. I want peace, and joy. and most importantly, I want to see happiness . Smile and laughter. That's all I'm asking for.
I am never cruel in ignoring people. I will never do that. Yes indeed it hurts me deeply went I felt the change in us.. But I am now burying it deep within myself.. because all I care for is people around me. FULL STOP here alright? no longer want to talk about it and mention about it because all it brings is just SADNESS and painful scars.. say watever you people wanna say.. Yes I wanna run! I am running away.. because I can no longer take it with the words and the things that is happening.. is just so UNPREDICTABLE.. is so out of control.. I dont wish things to turn to worst. Even an outsider can see the difference. AND OUTSIDER!. How sad is that? sigh~
till then..
No comments:
Post a Comment