let the word remain unsaid

Pride, the sense of one's own worth. Sometimes is the pride that is in us that bring us down. We thought we know everything. We thought we see everything clearly. Well, sometimes I gotta act like I don't care. There isn't a point explaining knowing that the outcome is the same. Stubborn!. So whats the point??. If I am the only one that think this way then the problem is in me. However is not. I never say anything, but it just came to my ears. Maybe is fated that I can only received this kind of feedback and advice so late. There isn't a point regretting. Knowing that it is too late already.. O well, at least I get to see the true colour. Never the less, I dropped my glasses. Giving a deeper thought. Things might be different if I actually drop this glasses of mine earlier..

Dear 2187.. I miss you? I wish this glasses of mine drop earlier.. but I guess is too late..
If and only if i am given the last chance..
Wall.. Still... Eye.. Knee..? =(

Where are you?????.....
I am here...

till then..

Happy Chor Yat! =D

Ello ppl~
How was ur reunion? Mine was awesome.
I had Steamboat + BBQ as reunion dinner. Sad to say.. I fall sick on chinese new year eve. Thanks to my bro.. his virus came to me. >.< So.. I suffered through out the whole nite ended up did not enjoy the wine and other stuff.. right after dinner I see myself in dreamland. =.= Wasted! roar!
Anyway, It's the 1st Day of CNY! Happy Chor Yat ppl!
I had few angpaus already. =D CNY is the time where ppl like our age going everywhere collecting angpausss.. =D me love!..
Before I leave the house, I cut my own hand with a pair of scissors. Mom keep telling me that is a good thing, seeing red early in the morning. >.< Pain!! argggh~ I am also coughing badly. Wat a good start for the year! haha..




Till then..

Shoppping spreeeeeeeeeeeee

Weeeee~
This year I spend quite alot during shopping! =D
My check list is almost DONE! =D haha..
Well, there are reasons why I am willing to spend this year. Let it remain unsaid. =X shhh..

AH.. Me wan this badly... =(
But it's too big for me.. last piece there.. =(
My mom asked me to buy it home and ask me to GROW FAT! =.= good motivation. SWT..
So in the end i didn't buy... I rather not grow fat..
Soooo.. my next mission is the find this jeans! =D
Hopefully can buy it by this month. =D Shop shop shop!! weee~


O wait!!!
Did I mention before that I changed my car player? =P
Yes ppl.. Speaker plus player.. Wohooo~ It might not be as good as others that have sub and bla bla.. But then.. it's perfect for me already. I seldom drive here and there.. so yea.. happy with wat I have. =D

Till then..

Sometimes...

Sometimes... is better not to know the truth.. but then again.. be realistic..

I gotta chill and relax..

Christ gives me the strength to face anything. Philippians 4:13 =)

Anyway, AHHHHHHHH
This year my calender is filled with CAMPS date! Camp camp camp.
Estimated camps I would need to go : 8 camps! >.<
Where am I going to find the marneeee.. die die die. hahaha!

Till then..

I asked

Why did I dream of you? hmmm..

Anyway, My sem break is bored! Me rotting at home doing GB work and some house keeping and then a little of shopping only! arghh~ Where's the fun? =(

This year CNY I spend alot! Bought lots of things that I wanted. Wohoo~ I have yet to get some of the stuff i wanted. Eg : dresss.. arghh~ So hard to look for nice casual dress. D:

1) Short pants (Half Done)
2) Skirt (Done)
3) Purse (Half done. saw one nice one.. but.. izit worth? expensive weh. D: )
4) Few casual Dress
5) High Heels (Done)
6) Hand bag
7) Slippers
8) Few nice tops
9) New Lappie Bag for my precious laptop.(Done)
10) Vest (Done)
11) Scarf (Done)
12) Long Jeans (Done)
13) Black Shirt

Wohoo~ the list will go on n on n on.. gg.com

Till then...

Shopping Mode ON!

Yellow!
Chinese New Year is few days away! =D
Mua Shopping mode is ONNNNNNNNN..
Lets see the things I would wanna buy this time

1) Short pants (Done)
2) Skirt (Done)
3) New Purse
4) Few casual Dress
5) High Heels (Done)
6) Shoes (Nike, Adidas or maybe... idk. lol)
7) Slippers
8) Few nice tops
9) New Lappie Bag for my precious laptop. =P (Half done)

wohooo~ the list goes on. Will be going for shopping this few days.

till then..

Closed

Hoping and waiting for miracles.

We plan the way we want to live, but only God makes us able to live it. Proverbs 16:9

We plan the way we want to live, but only God makes us able to live it. Proverbs 16:9

We plan the way we want to live, but only God makes us able to live it. Proverbs 16:9

We plan the way we want to live, but only God makes us able to live it. Proverbs 16:9

We plan the way we want to live, but only God makes us able to live it. Proverbs 16:9

We plan the way we want to live, but only God makes us able to live it. Proverbs 16:9

We plan the way we want to live, but only God makes us able to live it. Proverbs 16:9

We plan the way we want to live, but only God makes us able to live it. Proverbs 16:9

Its Over~

Year 2 sem 2 is over! Time really flies..

Did pretty bad in my both papers. I guess I better start saving to resit my paper. I was just staring blankly at the papers. I wonder why too. It was too stress for me. I just could not handle it. I gotta deal with my emotions and also what is going on around me. The day before exam I couldn't really study. All I have in mind was the msg send by someone. If that's how you think of me.. I'm sad and hurt.. So be it.. I cant do anything but to silently cry and tell God my problems. Because I know I've lost your trust. Exactly 4 months we have been struggling... yet nth keeps me from continue to pray to God. Anyway, as promised, I wont be emoing so much in this blog. I wont wanna affect everyone. hmm..

Anyway, gonna be on sem break for about one month! YAY! meanwhile I have lots to do. Attending meeting and preparing for events. =)

stay tune for more updates.. =)

Love,
Feli

Nth

NTH NTH NTH! nth more I will explain or say because it does not make a difference. All I can do is to pray and hope that one day things will be clearly understand.

Them whom I heart most!
This would be my long time and life time friendS. Met them wen I'm in primary girls school. I'm glad I'm in a girl school where I am able to find awesome girl friends and we'll remain friends forever. No matter how far apart we are now, we'll always remember each other. =)

Them whom I heart most!
I'm thankful that God allowed me to serve in GB and met this bunch of crazy girls. With their prayer and support I believe we all can serve faithfully together. Heart them alot!

Them whom I heart most!

My life in secondary school life where I finally get to have guys friends and meet new people.
However, still I found a bunch of crazy girls and I rather be close to them because wat matter most is the quality not quantity. =)

Then again I make a move into my College life again I met a bunch of crazy girls.

Because of them my life is coloured up. =)

I'm also thankful for this guy.
Because of him, I passed my account papers in my foundation and degree too! =)
Thank you so much bardeeee. =D

Apart from that,
I'm thankful for my current new babes in University.
I get to know them not very long but I felt bless knowing them because they are all awesome people. I thank God for making them into my life

*Pic Unavailable*
will be uploading soon =)

To my other babes and friends.. dont feel left out if your pics is not in there. I cant upload all the pics I have. dont have time. Sorry. =( No matter wat.. I still love and care for the rest of the people I know. Of course in life I meet more than the people I posted up there.
I thank God for all of you that existed in my life. I do appreciate and love you all be it guys or girls.
A hug is worth a thousand words. A friend is worth more

G.NA - I'll Back Off So You Can Live

TRANSLATION

I’ll back off so you can live
Say it directly, looking at me
Say it looking into my eyes
Did you just say you wanted to break up?
Did you want to end it with me?

(I Know) You probably got a lady
(I Know) You probably got sick of me
Even though the tears are rushing to me

I’ll back off so you can live
That is all I can say
I’ll forget you so you can live better
So that you’ll be happy without me
The love that you tossed away, you can take it
Don’t even leave a trace behind and take it all
Don’t even say you’re sorry
Don’t worry about me

Your lips that told me tha you were going to leave
Why does it give me a reason to be angry today?
I need to stop you, the words don’t go out
And you are already moving far apart

(I know) You will forget me
(I know) I will really hate you
Even though you know everything

You! The reason I lived
You! Were all I wanted
You! It was me who only looked at you

Why? Why are you leaving?
Why? Why are you tossing me away?
If you were going to be like this
Why did you love me in the first place?

Do you happen to remember that day?
That day when we first met
I still remember it
The promise you made to me
That you will only care for me
That you will only protect me
That you will only love me
I believed your lies, I believed it

Did you really love me?
I’ll forget you so you can live better
Goodbye

sTRess LeVEL

wOHOOO~ My current stress level is way above! I cant believe I've been studying finance for the past 3 days continuously! I think I'm soon to go mad because I still don't really have confident in whether or not I could pass this paper. I dont wish to fail as I know I'm not going to score so I just aim to pass is the best I can do. Simply because I did pretty badly for this whole sem! AIKS! how come? Well, I've been emoing and wondering wat can I do to make things better. I cant sleep my problems away right?



BUT WAIT!!



I believe you people must be wondering why am I complaining tat I'm stress here and I'm emoing here but then wen some of you.. well.. maybe most of you see me.. I'm smiling and happily talking with you. I wonder why am I like tat too. I just cant help it especially wen I'm with my friends. I just would not want to make everyone around me to get stressed up with the mood i'm having and wondering what to do with me and so on. What I want in life for now is simple. I want people around me to smile widely. I want to make people smile.. AND not to forget I know that MY FRIENDS ARE with me. They support me in their prayer and also be by my side wenever I need them especially my babes and darlings.



Yeap! Some of you might call me a hypocrite. Seeing the 2 faces me. Some people will just love to hide their emotions from others as they are more introvert. They tend to not share their problem and outsider like us will never know wen he/she is sad or feeling unhappy. All we see is them smiling wenever we meet them. I have lots of friends like tat. Why? because life goes on and no matter wat we have to face it.. So face it wit a smile and it might just help things up.

I used to be super extrovert last time. But I guess I'm changing a little.

I don't mind as long as I see people around me happy is alright. Because I believe that Happiness is a journey not a destination.

Where I fall down is where I should CLIMB UP and begin my life again. So yea I felt down and I should get back up with nothing and start all over again in order to love life.

Anyway, back to my problems..



I've been having tons of problems. I've been struggling in dealing with my own emotions. There's this one of my small group member told me that I should sing "With Christ in the vessel we can SMILE at the storm" wenever I'm going through hard times as we know Jesus is always with us. I thank God for that.



I gotta deal with people around me. Well, I do love the people I love. Be it Him or Her. Because I believe that we must treasure the friendship we have. Hence, I'm trying my best to be the best I can.



I've been pretty self centered for the past YEARS. Being naive being selfish I guess. Which is obviously not the right thing to do. I guess I gotta pray harder to change myself. Jealousy kills. Envy kills.. being selfish KILLS TOOO.. ahhh I better stop thinking about myself and stop hurting others.



Maybe if I had just looked away that first night you came towards me, everything would be different and my heart wouldn't be aching. Ain't nothing but.. sigh..

How can I love again when I can't stop loving the one that hurt me so much?

I wish I could let go..



Why am I still holding on something that might not bring happiness to me but only worries, anger and jealousy? And I am letting go something that there might be chances to bring happiness to me?

I do care but I did not show it. I might not be the right one but I might one of them. Yesterday during sharing, once again something strikes my mind and heart.



I am burying the problems/matters/feelings deep withing me. And is only me that know how I should feel. There is no point wondering and asking for more. Knowing that I couldn't change a person mind set and I MUST care for others as well. I love I care I concern.

Let the word remain unsaid.

I will just remember the promises I made and not just by saying but action as well. Even if I gotta go through it myself along with God, I will because I know you too are going through alone with God. I might not be strong but I will do my best.



Ahh.. I'm being crappy. I'm aint linking everything I talked or I should say I write here. I'm sorry guys and girls. You know I love you all. muahz.



Anyway, Loving someone is of coursing hoping that he or she is happy with the life and be by their side be it as a normal people or a someone special to them. As long as I can be therefore them whenever they need me. So yea LOVE YOU ALL GUYS AND GIRLS. *hugs*

LOOK AT MEEE.. Seteresssing >.< nerd look.. shhh.. haha

PS : I will no longer emo in this blog. Will be having a personal emo blog on my own. All this while I've been doing it. Just that.. you all dunno. =P so yea.. last post on EMONESSS.. will make myself to post it on other blog instead. sorry people.. <3

Sorry for dragging you all into a emo mood always. PEACE! LOVE YOU! =D

Stepping over Our Wounds

If we open a quarrel between past and present, we shall find that we have lost the future.
- Winston Churchill

Stepping over Our Wounds

Sometimes we have to "step over" our anger, our jealousy, or our feelings of rejection and move on. The temptation is to get stuck in our negative emotions, poking around in them as if we belong there. Then we become the "offended one," "the forgotten one," or the "discarded one." Yes, we can get attached to these negative identities and even take morbid pleasure in them. It might be good to have a look at these dark feelings and explore where they come from, but there comes a moment to step over them, leave them behind and travel on.