Ketika diri ini mencari arah.....

SUPPOSE to go pasarmalam! that was my plan for yesterday after church. BUT! stupid rain! darn u. My parents doesn't wanna go because it rained. Sad case. Ended up in my grandma house rotting there. hmmm~ Anyway, i should start studying ALREADY! wth! is a week before exam and i'm still here blogging. WTH! stop wasting time feli! hmm..

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I don't not know why..
somehow, i could feel that i'm beginning to take it seriously. I'm afraid. Afraid of losing.. sigh~
How depressing can that be???? I'm emo-ing AGAIN??? AM I? wth! I had enough of NON-stop troubles invading my life.
It just bites knowing how emotionally weak I am not just physically but mentalily.
YES,I know God is there but still I felt the pain in my heart. and WORRYING? wth! To be honest, i never have this feeling of worry before in my life! gosh~ sigh... maybe i'm taking it real serious?
It's seriously darn hurtful and worrying. sigh~

will it help me??? No. it wouldn't. Is so obvious. Dumb me. I'm so stupid right now.
It just bites knowing how emotionally weak I am not just physically but mentalily.
I change when people want me to.
I cry in a spilt second when hurt.
I hide in a conner when people triumph.
I never had and still never have the courage to stand my ground.
I never had a chance of letting what Me Myself and I wanted to do. Act as i like. No! I don't have the courage yet i gotta pretend.
I'm praying, that this path that i have chosen to take with my own will and not what other people have told me to do so, will lead me to where i truly belong.
HAHAHA!!! i seriously have to stop strolling down to my memory lane. its downright depressing, just thinking about the ups and downs i gone through in life. it makes me regret about alot of things. i regret of the times i didn't try my best when i knew i could. i regret of the moments that should have came true if i was a better person.What's my biggest regret? Good question to even ask myself. think hard feli.

I'm feeling really stupid right now. wtf did i juz say that?
sigh~.. y do i always fall for the wrong thing??
I'm really worry.
arghh~ .I'm feeling helpless!!


As I PRAY..... sigh~